Learning how to view my own work has been one of the biggest challenges lately. It’s so, so easy to slide into self criticism, self loathing, especially in my writing. Both my day job and my writing early in the mornings and in the evenings have been feeling like insurmountable challenges. These two days off have given me a chance to crash. I feel helpless in the face of despair right now, but I’m able to go on through habit. I want to add the phrase “right now” to the end of every sentence in this post, because that’s what’s going on — something is going wrong right now, not forever. That famous Beckett line, “fail better,” has become my mantra. Just getting better at failing seems to be the best thing to shoot for. A habit: getting up early. Getting up early is said to help. Getting up at the same time of day, every day, is supposed to be one key to happiness. Mindfulness of my impatience when I get like this helps, too. Things will take as long as they will take, I must remember. I just have to fight the urge to lie down and go to sleep wherever I am. A rambling post, it’s true, but all I’m capable of… right now.