All right, I’m hypomanic. I spent $950 on stocks today before 10am. I bought an SSD drive for my computer that I totally did not need for $400 over the weekend. Thank god it is the start of a new month, and I can set some limits. And thank God that Mint is working again, so I can keep track of myself. Spendy is back! “I can write it off on my business taxes,” I say, knowing nothing about how that works.

I’ve taken about 5 milligrams of clonazepam. Apparently, this being unemployed isn’t working out so far. I hope I can get a little more used to it, because it looks like it’s going to last another 2 months. Knocking my unemployment fund back to 3 months, a uncomfortable level. So I’ll naturally be even more anxious at work, anxious to please because I’m in student debt.

There’s part of my fucked up thinking. Pessimistic.

Must. Fight. Pessimism.