I don’t mean to say that I’m a loser. I mean to say that I feel like one most of the time. Losers are those who give up trying, and I haven’t given up trying yet. It’s on those weeks, though, when I don’t do any writing, that I feel worse about myself. I’ve found something out. The weeks when I wasn’t writing neatly coincide with the time when I was doing badly at my work. Almost as though I needed to write in order to have a good life in the other things that I did. I think that’s a truth I can go on. Should I want to have a healthy relationship to my paying work during the week, I should write during the week as well. That’ll give me the space I need between myself and the rest of the fucking world that I kind of fucking hate right now.