The almost-cry. Coming close to weeping. Maybe even a little heave of the chest. Anxiety about coming so close, even. A closing off of certain abilities to feel, in any way, good. The coming on of the cry will put you into your place, nail you to where you are and [...]
How you take it in the ribs, in the ribcage, day in, day out. How the darkness engulfs you like a heavy rubber suit, squeezing the life out. How when it’s 80 degrees out and people are ecstatic, you’re lifeless. How when you think you’re peering over the wall at the [...]
Going dark is bad. Going dark is counterproductive. The thoughts that bubble to the surface seem to be all negative all the time, even when I’m up, hypomanic. Eternal damnable pessimism. It gets dull. Always the same responses – in the negative: going dark.
Unlike some other bloggers, I don’t have [...]
I’m doing Pilates about two days per week and that’s it. Nothing cardiovascular, nothing aerobic. I walk 15-20 minutes per day. I’m about 10-20 pounds overweight, some might say a bit more than that. I don’t weigh what men in the 1940’s weighed at my height, that’s for certain. Someone [...]
Jonah Lehrer has a fascinating post up on his blog, The Frontal Cortex, about schizophrenia and smoking. In short, those with schizophrenia experience a lessening of their symptoms by smoking cigarettes.
Given the recent hypotheses on the genetic connections between schizophrenia and bipolar, I wonder if it’s any wonder that I’m so damnably addicted to [...]
When a friend asks to do my star chart, I oblidge then promptly forget what the results say. I find all horoscopes of the newspaper variety nearly useless, except for the excellent Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology, which always prompts me to think a little about where I am and where I want to [...]
A couple of years ago my wife and I played a lot of World of Warcraft. We’d both just turned in our Masters Theses and were looking for some major recuperation. Major recuperation turned into major addiction for her, minor addiction for me. My fascination with WoW started with the maps, [...]
Acting like a man means not being so irritable with my wife. Saturday, Independence Day, I reacted so strongly against her telling me that the dishes needed doing that I started a fight. It was to be our day of getting out and seeing Brooklyn, shopping for a neighborhood. And although we [...]
I haven’t read it yet, but I’m going to have to, based on this interview.
An interesting thought from McManamy:
All our current psychiatric meds are the result of serendipitous discovery, based on old technologies. They get some of the people somewhat better some of the time, and we have no idea why. The drug industry made vast sums of money essentially putting old pills in new bottles. That era is [...]