Dilettantism
In many cases (depressive bipolar being the signal case), those with the disorder tend to be dilettantes, tend not to stick to one thing or another. This probably has something to do with the staying power of confidence – or lack of. Although I’ve been feeling better lately, I don’t take it for granted and I’m only waiting for the next low to hit, in approximately two or three days. Something like that. Dilettantism. What was I saying? What was I trying to do? Oh, yes, that’s right, I was going to try to become a computer programmer even though I’m a writer and TV editor and producer and I have a million other things to occupy my time. But today I’ve got the heebies, the bipolar expansiveness not helped by copious amounts of coffee, Starbuck’s French Roast Bold, and I’m standing here with lines spinning out from me in every direction.
I came across this in Coming Out Crazy:
“Last night, I read the short chapter on “Morality and Self-Respect” and, to quote Marcus Aurelius – “I do my duty. Other things, trouble me not.”
Dr. Pies often illustrates the Stoics ideas with practical contemporary examples, in this case a woman who couldn’t do enough to satisfy her mother – a problem I’ve had.
Do I want to lose my soul in trying? No way. So, after reading Dr. Pies and the ancients, I fell asleep peacefully with the words of Epictetus ringing in my ears: “If you fulfill your duties, you have what belongs to you.” Or as Dr. Pies suggests, “the only real possession to which we may lay claim is our own moral integrity. Everything else in life either belongs to someone else or is beyond our control.”
